Slow down, you're doing fine. You can't be anything you want to be before your time.

 So I went to Copenhagen this past weekend with a few people!  It was beautiful but absolutely and entirely freezing.  I was fully unprepared for it to be that cold, and it was probably the coldest I've ever been in my life.  I'm not kidding.  But it was really cool to see a new place, and that was my first time being on the European continent!  Me being who I am, I forgot my camera on my bed running out the door to catch our flight at 3:00 AM.  So here are some pictures I stole from Eugene and Mackenzie.

The Citadel!

Danish protests are not in English.

Yeah.  That's ICE.

  

Too cold.

Chilly Boats

Hi.

I spent a lot of this trip trying to keep things on an even keel, and it wasn't for my own sake.  I learned one thing about myself, which is that I have stages of frustration.

Stage 1:  Optimism at all costs (approx 3 hours long)
Stage 2:  Silent toleration (approx 1 hour long)
Stage 3:  Everything is funny (approx 7 hours long)
Stage 4:  I'm angry (approx until you go away)


That means that until a person or a situation has been driving me nuts for eleven straight hours, I'll grin and bear it for the most part.  This made me a bit concerned.  I mean, I used to be very focused (maybe even fixated?) on expressing my own opinion all the time.  But in past years, I've become very good at putting other people first.  This can be a positive and a negative trait, and I've experienced the results of both.  My parents are both incredibly pleasant people.  They're easy to get along with and rational and they don't like to fight or get upset unnecessarily.  And they are both very unique individuals with clear opinions and feelings.  But sometimes I worry that my desire to avoid unnecessary and petty arguments may develop into me not expressing my feelings. 

I know that part of me feeling this way can be attributed to me reading The Lacuna yesterday (thanks, Erin!).  It's full of people sacrificing themselves for expression of self and causes that are life-and-death important to them.  Would I not heatedly defend something that I truly cared about if pushed?  Why am I not out fighting for things that I believe in passionately and defending them with my life?  Isn't that all that truly matters in life?  But at the same time, I can't help wishing everyone could just take a step back and ask why they're doing what they're doing. Does this thing matter that much?  Will fighting for it make you feel better about anything?  I just end up going in circles, because in the end, I wonder if I'll end up rationalizing myself out of fighting for something really important to me.

At this point in my thought process on the bus back to London, Eugene handed me his ipod and said "a song to make or break a friendship."  I handed him mine, and noticing that I was listening to "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley, I said "life mantra."  It was a joke, but I realized that I was serious.  Don't worry about a thing, because every little thing's gonna be alright.  It's a simplification, and a cliche sentiment, but I think there's a reason it's used a lot.  And it really is what I believe.  Any time I catch myself complaining or I talk to a friend in crisis, my first thought is to remind them or myself that no matter what it is, everything's going to be fine.  Because it is.  And it really helps to keep that in mind.

While I was listening to "Three Little Birds" and contemplating my triumphant sacrifice for a cause as yet undiscovered, I wanted to change my music to something more emotionally stirring and thought provoking.  But I realized that my ipod was almost out of batteries, so any disturbance of the click wheel would render me music-less for the rest of the bus ride.  Nice metaphor, provided by Apple™.  Maybe the point is, if you waste all of your energy searching for a cause to champion, a fight to win, a villain to defeat, and a day to save, you'll wear yourself out.  Bigger things will come to you when they're meant to, and you'll know when it's time to work for things that are important to you.  But until then, don't worry, and don't waste your energy on things that don't deserve it. 

I think I'm doing alright for now.

<3 Em